Alone with my thoughts...

Why is it that I like to be alone so much? Maybe I am crazy. With my family history, it is pretty likely. :) I got up this morning at 5:00 am with the sole intention of listening to the silence. To hear the refrigerator hum, and the icemaker chatter. To hear the click of the cat's toenails on the stairs as he made his way upstairs to Lily's bed to snuggle. To hear the tappity-tap of my fingers on the keyboard. And, most importantly, to listen to the thoughts in my head that are too overshadowed by the busy-ness of everyday life to be heard. It isn't that what my head has to say is all that important, really. Nothing earth-shattering goes one up there. It's just that moment after moment, day after day, the clarity of it all gets lost because all I can hear myself thinking about is what chore or work-related thing I have to do next... or where I have to pick up or drop off a child next... or what I need to buy from the grocery store... or if Brad is out of deodorant... or if I remembered to fill up the dog's water bowl. I just want to have a moment to listen to that gal who used to have so much to say and who used to say it with such "umph!". So, does that make me a hermit? Who cares really? So, I probably acted a little irrationally this morning when Brad woke up during my "alone" time. I may have stomped around and acted a bit like a two-year old. But it seems that the only time anybody else can get up early is when I try to get up early. So forgive me, Jesus, for my tantrum. I only wanted to hear my old friend, Heather.