Good news...

I am so thankful to be able to report that Nikki came through the surgery with no problems and that her tumor was benign! It is so nice to hear good news and to be able to pass it along. I am so relieved and happy for her. Tonight I am thankful for my own health, as well as that of my friends and family. You know, I think sometimes God tests us and sends us challenges just to show us how resilient we are...especially when we are feeling fragile. Funny how that works.

My friend Nikki...

Today my friend and teammate from school, Nikki, is having surgery. She thought she had just blown out her knee and went in to have it looked at and discovered that she has a tumor in her femur that has grown so large that it has cracked her kneecap. The doctor's have been afraid she would further damage her leg and potentially be down for 6-8 months so they have really moved things along and scheduled the surgery really quickly. They will remove the tumor and biopsy it at that time. Being that she has already had cancer earlier in her life, she is very worried about the results. She has two teenage boys and she is very involved in their lives. She is also an extremely dedicated teacher. I rarely ask people I know to pray... I don't know why. My friend Nikki really needs all the prayer that she can get from anyone out there who prays. She was very uneasy about the surgery going into it and I am hoping and praying that she can get some good news when she gets out. She works so hard and has overcome a lot of obstacles in her life and she just really needs a break. So, if you pray, please pray for Nikki today.

Occipital Neuralgia, Halloween & Dr. Oz...

The neurologist worked me in this past Saturday and said I had Occipital Neuralgia. Spasming muscles in my necks were pinching my occipital nerve which was causing one killer headache. He gave me several injections of prednisone directly in my neck and head to relax that muscle. By the end of the day, I was feeling much better. Amazing, huh?

I took my little witch and my little pirate to the hayride in Shallowbrook tonight. They were so exhausted! Lily asked when it was "not gonna be Halloween anymore". She said she was getting "too tired to Halloween". They are both growing up so fast. I can remember having to help them both up and down off the hay trailer and this year they both jumped off and ran up to the houses on their own.

Just finished watching Heroes, which used to be such a great show. Now, I have to admit, I am getting really tired of it. It is getting sillier and sillier and nothing ever happens. Although Peter Petrelli still looks great, so I guess I'll continue watching! :)

My Dr. Oz books came in the mail at the end of last week sometime. Get this...this could only happen to me... the mailman brought the books along with my other mail up to the house and left them on the porch since it had been raining. The dogs decided my books should be their snack and they drug them into the yard and chewed them to pieces. My books were still readable, but we had to let them dry out and I have to try to ignore the mangled edges as I read. I was so pissed.

Speaking of mail, I got the bill the other day for my ER visit... $1333!!! Can you believe that?? And I am not sure that that includes the CAT scan because I think I will get a seperate bill from radiology. Not sure.

Halloween dance...

Tonight was our Halloween dance at school. I set up this booth where the kids paid a dollar to stick their hands in a bucket of nastiness they couldn't see. I had worms (spaghetti), maggots (rice), a human heart (a peeled tomatoe), and eyeballs (peeled muscadines). I made $68 dollars! They really freaked out over the human heart...it was hilarious to see their reactions. It was pretty fun...we had a good turnout, which means we will make a nice profit for our Outer Banks scholarship fund this year. Tonight I am thankful for times when I can be myself with my students and I don't have to be "the teacher". I am finding that it is more and more important to me to get to know me kids on a more personal basis. I do a better job teaching them when I get to know them as people.

Skipping class & catching up...

Lily was super tired tonight. So tired she said she didn't want to go to dance class because she was sleepy! Her mom was feeling much the same so I decided we would skip class tonight. I am frustrated because they called me from the doctor today to say that the neurologist can't see me until December 17th. By then, my head probably will either have exploded or I will be fully recovered. I guess there's nothing left for me to do except wait.
I need to think of what I am thankful for tonight... I am thankful for the time I have had at work lately to catch up on things. My classes were broken up last week so my kids could receive 45 minutes of computer instruction each day in preparation for their competency test in January. Although I had to stay with them in the lab, I had time to do whatever I needed. After being out all those days, I had lots to catch up on. I was able to get all my papers graded, my grades entered into the computer, lesson plans written for the entire week, and I started working on a school webpage. I am feeling much better about work since I have had the chance to catch up. Also, I think my medicine is helping me to concentrate. I used to feel so overwhelmed by what I had to do that I never felt like I could concentrate on any one task. Now, I feel like I can sit down and finish one thing before moving on to another. It's nice.

Priorities & being positive...

I have been really working hard to be positive lately. I have also been working really hard to make myself relax and take inventory of my life and prioritize. I worry too much about insignificant things! So this weekend, I didn't freak out about cleaning my house all weekend, even though it could have stood a good cleaning. And I didn't spend hours on lesson plans, as a matter of fact, I didn't bring anything home from work this weekend. Saturday morning, Carmen and I took our kids to the City Services Showcase, which made Brad happy because it was important to him that we be there. Carmen and I had not seen each other for a long time, so it was good to see her, even if it wasn't for very long. Then I took a nap (woo-hoo!) with Lily Saturday afternoon while Sam spent some time with Billy and Lea (my brother & niece). We went to church this morning (Lily sang with the Sonshine Choir and was as cute a a button). Then Brad took the kids for a while and I took a nap (two in one weekend, can you believe it?!?). When I woke up, I took the kids to my Maw-Maw's for a few hours. The kids love visiting with my grandparents, and my grandparents absolutely love seeing the kids. So, overall, I feel like I spent my weekend doing things that were more important and more beneficial to me, personally. I did something for myself (I also had a massage on Friday) and I spent some quality time with my family & friends, both of which are way more important than having a house that sparkles or perfect lesson plans that no one will ever look at. So, tonight I am thankful for times when I am able to prioritize and focus on the things that are important. It definitely takes a conscious effort to do this, and it is especially hard for me sometimes because I am such a perfectionist, so I better be thankful for the times when I actually pull it off!

Friends...

Tonight I felt a lot more like myself. I cooked supper and I even made cookies with the babies. Did a few loads of laundry and offered to let Brad work late. He's really behind because of all the attention he has been giving me lately. I love and appreciate him so much.

Sam got his school pictures back today. They are precious. He has no front teeth and he is smiling the most genuine "Sam smile". They were really well-behaved tonight. They went outside and rode their bikes after supper and gave me a little time to get the kitchen clean from supper.

I think this medicine I am taking is helping. I think my neck is loosening up a little and my mind feels calmer. Still have a touch of that stomach bug, but I would much rather have that than the stress/anxiety/muscle/headache issues. Only side effect so far is yawning. I have yawned all day. Then again, maybe I'm just sleepy.

From time to time, when things get tough, it is so interesting sometimes who your friends turn out to be. I mean, it so often is those you least expect who step up to the plate and come to help you the most. And sometimes, when you thought you may have lost a friend, you really didn't...they were always there. Tonight I am thankful for true friends.

Effexor?

Anybody familiar with Effexor? That's what the doc started me on yesterday. Just wondered if anyone had had any experience with it.

Yet again...

Well, home from work again today. Stomach bug this time. I am sure looking forward to feeling better. Been working on updating some of the items on my blog while I've been home. Which brings me to what I am thankful for today...my computer. I have been SO patient since Brad and I moved into our house (4 years ago). We had nothing but dial-up and it was so painfully slow that it took me 30-45 minutes just to check my email. We FINALLY got DSL and that warranted us getting the new computer. I am getting myself back into the world of technology which I feel I was completely cut off from for those years. I know it is annoying Brad that I spend so much time on the computer these days, but I have a lot of catching up to do. And I use it for everything... writing lesson plans, creating tests and worksheets for my classes, email, besides all the stuff I just WANT to use it for. I can finally upload my pictures to websites and have them printed and sent to me. I can finally shop online. I have the capability to scrapbook digitally now, which will allow me to get rid of some of the crap that I have to haul from place to place everytime I crop. I am teaching myself about digital video and creating DVD's with my digital video camera. It is just amazing what all I can do...I just have to find the time (no problem, right?) and put the effort into learning all the stuff I missed out on during my hiatus from technology.

Wondering...

Do you ever stop and wonder how your life would be different if you had made different choices? I am not unhappy with my life as it is but I do think sometimes about how even the smallest choices sometimes make the biggest differences in life.

Trying to return to normal...

I feel like my life schedule has been disrupted lately because of my head hurting and my trip to the beach. My lesson plans are all screwed up and then we had a field trip today at school to see some plays at Lenoir Rhyne in Hickory. I am looking forward to getting things straightened out and back to normal. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, a massage lined up for Wednesday, and a trip to the chiropractor set for Thursday. Hopefully one of those three can get my hed/neck/back straightened out and then I can get past this annoying pain that has been setting me back.
Meanwhile, I know everyone who has been reading this is sick and tired of hearing me complain so I have decided to always try to include something positive... something that I am thankful for and something that I can say is truly a blessing to me. This weekend, I was blessed to spend time with great friends (Katie and Greg are such good people and they are very down to earth, which is good for me) and I spent some quality moments with my family. We played on the beach (yes, can you believe it was warm enough in October?) and we went to a Miniature Golf Course in North Myrtle that the kids absolutely loved because it was Pirate themed. Sam is SO into pirates. I got some great pictures that I will try to upload to winkflash soon. Incase you haven't joined winkflash.com, please do and visit my pictures...my user name is Hezuredawn.

Deceptively delicious...

Yeah, I know...I'm not going to shut up tonight, am I? I'm just in a talking mood. I ordered a book called Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfield (Jerry's wife). You may have heard of it. She has come up with creative ways to hide healthy foods in things like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and brownies...things kids will eat. I watched her on Oprah the other day when I was home sick and it seemed like a really interesting concept. And you know me, sitting here with nothing else to do... I jumped on Amazon.com and ordered that sucker. It hasn't arrived yet but I can't wait for it to get here so I can start tricking my kids into eating broccoli!

I also ordered the book by Dr. OZ called YOU, the owner's manual. I like Dr. Oz. He seems pretty cool and I need to understand how my body works so I can figure out how to make it skinny. I feel really old and I'm only 30 something and I need to get myself in shape before I am too far gone.

A happy note...

On a happier note, we are going to the beach this weekend with our friends Greg and Katie. I am taking off Friday (I had already planned this before I had to miss Monday and Tuesday) and we are leaving tomorrow night to go down to the beach for a long weekend. Sam and Lily are excited. They love Greg and Katie and I really think Katie and Greg love them too. It's going to be a nice, relaxing weekend with no stress. I have to come home tomorrow and get packed, but once that is done...low stress.
Aaaahhhh! Now...if I could just find myself a new lower stress job then life would be grand!

By the way, I just have to say how cute my little boy is with no teeth! He has lost both of his top front teeth and he is just adorable. One of the permanent teeth broke through the gums today and I am so sad about it! I wanted him to keep his sweet, snaggle-toothed smile for a while longer.

And Lily informed me the other day that she was "upset with me" because I wouldn't take her to Dairy Queen after her dance class. She did a great job at the fair "twirling" with her dancer friends. She's such a character.

And while I am bragging on my family, let me just say that Brad has been a fantastic husband while I have had all of my problems. He has been doing laundry like a madman and he has taken the kids to church and Lily to dance class. He even got someone else to cover for him at scouts Monday night so he could take Sam to PTO/Open House at his school. I am so thankful for him sometimes. I'm so lucky that he's not a lazy, lay-around-the-house-doing-nothing husband. He is always busy and my kids absolutely love being with him and helping him "work". Sam got some new work boots the other day and he has wanted to go "work" with his daddy every chance he's had since. And even Lily has started calling herself "daddy's girl". Sometimes it worries me that we don't have more interests in common, but I think we complement each other very well. Where I am lacking, he is strong, and vice versa. And it works. I guess God knew what he was doing with the two of us! Sometimes I think I really don't deserve him, but I am really glad I have him.

Back to the Grind...

Back to work today...head is feeling some better. Still not completely recovered but hopefully it won't be too much longer before everything gets back to normal. The medicine is definitely helping.
Carmen was curious about my ER experience. I must say I was very pleased overall. I got there around 10:15, waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes before they called me back. They put me in a gown, hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor, took down lots of info about my ailment, then they turned off the lights for me and said a doctor would be with me shortly. I waited about 20 more minutes before the doctor came in and diagnosed my problem. They took me down for a CAT scan which took about 15 minutes, they brought me some medicine and then they waited for the medicine to kick in to see if it was going to solve my problems before releasing me. I would guess we left the hospital about 12:30. Not bad considering all that I had done while I was there. Overall I was very pleased.

How wrong is that?

Ok, you know the headache that I've had? Well, I endured all weekend and took Monday off of work to go to the doctor to get something done about the pain. I called the Women's Clinic & they recommended that I go to a family practice since it was not necessarily a "woman" specific problem. So I called Shelby Family Practice. At 9am, they told me they could not see me until 3pm. I called Cleveland Family Practice. I had gone there once 6 years ago for, ironically, a headache. They have changed over to Caromont Health since I was there and all my records needed to be updated. They said after I had updated my records I could call back for an appointment. In other words, I could not be seen there that day either. I called Piedmont Family Care, thinking I would just try someone entirely new. I was told to stop by the office and pick up a new patient packet, fill it out, bring it back and that they would contact me within a few days to schedule my first appointment with them. In other words, we can't see you today either. I was so miserable and emotional (I'd been hurting since Thursday morning and the pain was only getting worse) so I just went to the Emergency Room. How wrong is it that someone in need of medical care...who is insured... cannot get into any of 4 different doctor's offices to be seen for a problem that needs immediate attention? When you're sick, you don't need an appointment three days from now! I am so mad about this. I really need to find a good family doctor, no matter how far I have to drive, and get in with that person when I am not sick, I suppose. The ER doctor gave me muscle relzxers and pain meds, diagnosed me with a strained neck muscle that had caused a severe tension headache. I still have the pain when my meds wear off but I am going to have to go back to work tomorrow si I won't be able to take all the pain medicine cause it makes me sleepy. Can't exactly teach Algebra in your sleep! So, does this doctor thing make anybody else as mad as it makes me? And why do they always ask...who is your doctor? Does anybody have A doctor anymore? I wish I did, but I don't so what do I do to find one?

Rock of Love

I just watched the last fifteen minutes of the reunion show of Bret Michael's Rock of Love and I just want to say for the record that I love Jes! She has balls! Bret pimped himself shamelessly during that whole show and he picked her and hurt all those other trashy girls with no self-respect. Then Jes... ha ha... tells him he picked the wrong girl... that she basically could give a rat's hind end about him!!! I think it's just hilarious! He thought so much of himself it was sickening and then... you go Jes!!! Stick it to him, girlfriend!

More whining..sorry

I still have the same headache from Thursday. Just the left side of my head hurts. I have been sitting in a chair most of the weekend with ice on my neck. It really sucks. I went ahead and planned to take the day off tomorrow so I can go to the doctor and hopefully get a shot or something to make this thing go away. It will fade about an hour and a half after I take tylenol, but it never goes away completely and the relief only lasts about an hour or two. I am bored and uncomfortable and there's nothing on tv even remotely interesting. My kids are spending the night with grandmomma tonight so I can get a little rest in the morning before I get my doctor's appointment. I just hope they can give me something....else this is gonna be a really long week.

TGIF!!

Thank God!! At last it is Friday and I can rest...a little bit. I still have that stinkin' headache and my house is still a wreck. Brad said something the other day about wanting to go to the Burns/Shelby game tonight but I would really rather not. Now...if he would want to take the kiddos that would be fine with me. Lily dances at the fair tomorrow at 11:30 and once I get some fried pickles and an RO's bbq sandwich I will have had my share of the fair this year. I have really been wanting to watch some good movies and my friend Roxanne told my that 300 was a good one. Maybe I will have time to watch it this weekend after the kids go to bed one night.

Mom wants to know...

Mom wants to know how I have time to write write blog posts. Well... I DON'T!!! I just don't have a lot of time to vent to anyone and I guess that's what I hope to get out of this. A place to talk to anyone who will listen about things that no one but me cares anything about. Gotta get it out somehow. Poor Brad tries... When you've been surrounded by nothing but 8th graders all day long, you gotta talk to someone. It will probably turn into a big sob-fest bitch session before it's all said and done, but hey, y'all don't have to read it on the days when I'm feeling sorry for myself, now do ya? :-)

Headache!

Today I have had a headache all day long. I felt it starting at the back of my neck this morning and it has gotten worse all day long. My house is a wreck because I wasn't here this past weekend to do any housework and then Mondays are no good because Brad has scouts and city council. Tuesdays are also out because by the time I take care of supper and get Sam's homework it is time to take Lily to her dance class. Wednesdays is church night - no work gets done. Then comes Thursdays...I'm worn out from working and running all week and this is the first night I really have to do anything around the house. Brad usually stays up later than me (he's a night owl) and he will do laundry, but as far as cleaning the floors and the bathrooms, etc. that all has to wait for me. Well, it probably won't happen tonight because my neck/head is calling for a long bath and an early trip to bed. Sometimes you just have to let it go... which is really hard for me... but sometimes I honestly have to make myself sit and just try to relax. Anybody else feel like life can just be too much sometimes? There's just no time to feel bad or be tired. You gotta keep on truckin'.

Turkey Pizzas

Well, today was a pretty good day at work which always makes the afternoons better when I get home. Lily has dance tonight and I always enjoy watching her. She cracks me up because she (and all the other little girls) get so caught up in watching themselves that they forget to listen to the instructor and follow what she's doing. Going to WalMart after to pick up a few groceries... yippee. I hate that place.
I am making these little turkey pizzas for supper. They are really good (one of my favorite things, actually). Really easy to make. Spread mayonnaise on a ready made pizza crust, add chopped turkey, diced tomatoes, bacon bits and mozzarella cheese and bake (350-375) until the cheese is melted. You won't believe what a good combination of tastes this is. The kids don't like it, but at this point, who cares? They don't eat anything except fries and chicken nuggets anyway. Try it sometime and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Heroes!

Peter Petrelli is so hot! And I am so happy that Hiro is really Kensai. And OMG, Claire cut off her toe! This show just gets better...

The Family Survived

I went on a scrapbooking retreat this weekend and it was great. I stayed up too late both nights and I paid for it by being super tired yesterday and today, but it was worth it. I definitely can tell that I am refreshed and I am a little bit more laid back about things after spending some quality time with friends. Brad did fine with the kids. They went to the fair Friday night and saw the Demolition Derby. They played outside all day Saturday down at the pond. They sure do have a good time when they go out with him.

Speaking of the fair, I would really like to have some fair food for supper tonight but Brad has City Council meeting and then Boy Scouts so he won't be home until late and I'm not sure I am brave enough to take them by myself.

Heroes comes on tonight (yay!). I wonder if we'll find out what happened to Peter. He is the greatest! So cute! Do you know that yesterday I found myself watching High School Musical and actually being somewhat interested in it? I am going to have to stop leaving the TV on cartoons all the time. It is getting sad. I need to watch some more grown up stuff. I never even know what is going on in the world because I never get to see the news. We don't take the paper either so I really don't have a clue!