Taco...

I am sadder than you can possibly imagine as I came home today, yet again, to find another dead pet. Taco has been staying in the house every night and most of the days. She has been going out into the garage every once in a while to get some fresh air and sit in her box that she used to share with Burger. Brad was outside some this weekend and she seemed pretty comfortable to stay in the garage. Yesterday we put her in the garage and left the door cracked just a TINY bit, enough for her to squeeze through if she wanted to but probably not enough space for anything any bigger than her. We went to church and when we came back she was there waiting for us and she seemed to want to stay out. So today, I had to go to town for a doctor's appointment and then I had to go on a search for a new washer and dryer (that's another story), so I decided to leave Taco in the garage, leaving the door cracked a TINY bit again. I was gone from about 10am until right around 4pm. When we pulled into the garage, she wasn't there. We called her but she didn't come. I called down to Grandmomma's to see if maybe she had run down there, but she hadn't seen her at all today. Sam and I walked around and called for her some more and we spotted a little brown lump in our dog lot behind the house that we use for them in the summertime. I sent Sam in the house to get the phone and then I made him go inside and shut the door. I walked down to the lot and she was lying there, still alive, but just barely. She was bloated and I could see a small gash on her side right above her hind leg. I scooped her up, thinking I would carry her to the car and get one the road to the vet, but she started yelping. It was obvious I was hurting her so I put her down. When I did, I saw the she had another pretty serious looking wound on her other side. I called Grandmomma and Granddaddy and then I lost my cookies. I mean, I lost it. Screaming, crying hysterically, the works. They were there in just a second and, seeing me in the state I was in, they loaded her up and set out for the vet themselves. I went inside where the kids were playing in their rooms and I paced and unloaded the dishwasher without really realizing what I was doing. They called from the vet and I lost my cookies again. The vet said in a nutshell that the damage was really bad and that she probably would not recover. So I continued losing my cookies when I had to tell the vet to put my sweet little Taco dog to sleep. I called mom and dad and they came over (Brad was at a ballgame in Birmingham, AL) and I lost it, again.


I feel so guilty. I left her outside and maybe I should have known better because I knew I was going to be gone a while.


I feel very afraid. We have had two pets killed within the past month. I didn't feel safe with my kids going outside after Burger was killed, but they aren't going to step out the door now for sure. If it is coyotes, what can we do about it? I want to know what is killing my animals. Is my cat safe? Probably not, but I can't make him stay inside either. If it's not coyotes, then what? Certainly not something that is afraid to come out during the day. In my backyard, nonetheless.


I do not want another dog. My mind cannot take this happening again. My heart REALLY can't take this happening again.


You know where we got Taco? We went trick or treating when Lily was just a baby and we stopped by the home of some friends from church and they had FOUND her in the woods behind their house. She was just a puppy and she was lost from her mother. So, instead of candy that night, we got Taco. She was the sweetest little thing. The thing I will remember most about her was how patient she was. She was always willing to step back and let Burger or the kids take the spotlight. But when she got attention from one of us (a bellyrub perhaps, see above...), she was so grateful for it. She loved us all so much. I am grateful especially for the past couple of weeks we had with her. Although we missed Burger, we definitely grew closer to Taco by having her in the house with us. I guess it is somewhat of a consolation that I think her last couple of weeks may have been special to her, too. We'll miss you, Taco.

A long, enjoyable day...

Usually Sundays are miserable days for me. Fridays (after work) are good, and Saturdays are great, but on Sundays I always have to face the reality of going back to work Monday morning and it just ruins it for me. But today was different. We got up and went to church as we usually do, then we came home and had a quick lunch. We sat around for about an hour (I was up MANY times with animals and children last night and was desperately in need of a nap) and had a RARE moment where the kids were playing in their rooms and Brad and I were relaxing in the recliners watching a football game. It reminded me of Sunday afternoons when I was a kid. We laid around the house and watched boring television and napped and it was wonderful! That only lasted for about an hour today and that nagging need to do something productive crept up on me. I went to my office/gift wrap factory and got busy wrapping the final gifts that I bought yesterday. Brad went to check on the cows and then took Sam to visit his brother at his dairy farm for a while. Lily and I hung out here and finished the wrapping and did some laundry. Never once did I stop and think about how soon the morning was coming! It was so pleasant. I cleaned my house and threw a little something together for supper and the family has spent the last couple hours flipping between Dirty Jobs (Sam's favorite show) and the Panthers game. I'm feeling refreshed and relaxed already and I have two weeks left. Yay!

Peace at last & Fifth's Disease & Taco...

Today was the last day of school of 2008! At about two o'clock today, I would've sworn it was never going to get here, but thank goodness it did. The kids were wild (as they always are on days like this), actually much worse than I remember from years past. But, I refuse to think about school at all until January 4th (the night before we go back). By the way, while I am thinking about it, the new school calendar that has been adopted has us not getting out until December 23rd next year. Can you believe that?

Today was also my Paw Paw Whitaker's birthday. He would've been 83 years old. It is so hard to believe he has been gone from here for 7 years. I always think about him and my granny around Christmas. Miss 'em.

When I got home from school today, Lily was covered in a rash (looked like a sunburn) on her face and the backs of her upper arms. It was really hot to touch, although she wasn't running a fever. I took her to the children's clinic and the doctor confirmed that she has Fifth's Disease. It has been going around her preschool. The crazy thing is that you don't know that you have Fifth's Disease until you break out in this rash, at which time you are no longer contagious. However, there are no real definitive symptoms before you break out. There is no treatment for it. The rash could last a few days or a few weeks. By the time we had arrived at the doctor this afternoon, she was pretty much covered head to toe in this rash.

To update everyone on the dog situation, we never found anything else out about Burger. Our best guess is that he was killed by a coyote or some other wild animal. I am scared to let my kids out of the house so I guess it is a good thing that the past week has been filled with dreary days when they didn't want to go outside anyway. Taco has been sleeping in the house at night and I have been closing her in the garage during the day. She is what reminds me of Burger more than anything. I think she is mourning deeply. She lays in the box in the garage that I'm sure must smell like her friend. In the evening she lays on the couch or she pesters one of us to let her up on our lap. She wakes me EVERY night to go outside for a bathroom break and seems afraid to leave the porch alone. This means I have had to walk out into the yard in the cold, wet middle of the night to escort my dog to the perfect spot to pee. I really don't mind so much and I am getting used to it. She seems depressed and although I am still resistant to the idea of getting a new dog, I can see that she might need a companion later on. She is such a loving little dog. As for now, she is giving the cat a run for his money. They have actually been caught playing together a few times. Maybe that friendship will be enough, along with what I hope will be a closer relationship with the kids since she is staying insde. We'll soon see. Either way, I absolutely had no idea how much I'd miss one of our dogs if anything happened. I am still very emotional about it.

Christmas is around the corner and I am finishing up some last minute stuff in the morning. Brad and I took our trip to Concord back before Thanksgiving and got most of the kids Christmas stuff taken care of and it has been such a blessing! Although they both keep adding to their list! Lily now says she wants a purple shovel for her sandbox and Sam has added a flat screen television to his VERY expensive list. I have already placed my order with Santa and I don't remember ordering a purple shovel or a flat screen tv. Too bad babies!

Burger...

This afternoon when we got home, Sam asked (as he often does) to get out of the van and run up the driveway ahead of the me. I opened his door and he ran ahead while I waited for Lily to sit back down and close the van door. I pushed the button to open the garage door so Sam could go on in. When I drove up to the garage (which we always leave cracked during the day for the dogs), Sam had only been there for a second, but it was long enough for me to see something was terribly wrong. He was screaming and pointing at the garage floor and as I got close enough to see, I realized that it was Burger, our beagle. He was lying in a large pool of blood, probably six feet across. I jumped out, looked long enough to realize the dog was indeed dead, threw Sam back in the van and backed out of the driveway. I called Grandmomma's and told her to get Dickie outside to meet me. I dropped the kids off (Sam was still crying) and I drove Dickie back to the house where we got out to investigate. After rolling the dog over to look at him closer, we first thought he had been shot. It looked like he had multiple gunshots all over his underside from his chest to the underside of his back legs. I called the sheriff's dept. and they sent a deputy and they also dispatched animal control. The concensus after looking around in more detail was that the bullet holes were probably puncture wounds inflicted by some wild animal (probably a coyote, in my opinion). Whether it happened in the garage, or somewhere in the woods and he managed to get himself back to the garage, we will never know. The rain appears to have washed away some of the evidence.

Burger was the best dog. He loved to run and play. He had that beautiful burr-urrr-urrr kind of bark that all beagles have and he loved to chase rabbits and other small animals in the woods while barking that beagle bark. He was good for our kids, a good companion for Taco (our chihuahua), and a good friend to all of us. We will miss him so much.

Sam seems to be fine. After we took care of everything, cleaned up the blood, and removed the body from the scene, I went back and picked him up from Grandmomma's. He was sad but didn't seem to be as deeply bothered by it as I was afraid he would be. He is cuddling on the couch with Taco right now. She is staying in the house tonight and I'm shutting her in the garage until I get home tomorrow.

Funny little things...

I was thinking in the shower about the funny things my kids say and how I should have written them all down because now I have forgotten a lot of them. So here's one... just so I won't forget. Lily calls bras "o-beras". It is a combination of the words bras and overalls. I don't know why.

Need a good book...

I need a good book. I have been feeling deprived of good reading since I finished the Twilight series. (It is SOOOOO good, by the way. And so is the movie. Almost as good as the book, which NEVER happens) Anybody have any good suggestions? I just can't make myself grade papers during basketball practice and dance class (see my last post) so I need a good book.

My job...

Anyone else ever get to feeling like there is no possible way you'll make it to retirement in your current job? I am feeling that way right now! It is thoroughly depressing when I think of all the stuff I would love to try but I just couldn't because I can't give up the stability that my job provides. I am getting SO burnt out. Ugh... 20 more years. I was refreshed and happy at the beginning of the week and it is only Wednesday and I am living for the weekend. I need to do something that allows me to be more creative! I tell myself that it is just this time of year and I always feel this way during the long haul between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is just part of my personality to become discontented with things after a while. I get bored easily. Any words of wisdom?