Been a long time...

It has been a super long time since I had time to post an entry here. I guess I will start by telling a bit about Christmas...

Sam LOVES his 4-wheeler. He wants to ride it all the time. Brad has been great to let Sam ride wherever he happens to be working on the farm each day. That way Sam gets to ride and he has someone to watch him ride. I feel very comfortable with him riding it. He does a good job and Brad and I have both been very stern with him about how important it is to be careful on it. I was sad to see Sam get to that stage in life that I suppose all kids reach where they are all about the presents. On Christmas Eve at Grandmomma's, we heard little comments like, "Is that all of my presents?" and "She got more presents than me.", etc. Oh boy, talk about MAD!!! Brad and I both really let him have it about that. After we talked to him on Christmas Eve about it, it really did seem to get better. He was careful to say thank you to everyone and I didn't hear any more spoiled brat comments from him.

Miss Lily, on the other hand, was a joy to watch this year. She couldn't have cared less that she had fourteen more presents to open... she unwrapped one and then she played with it. She didn't go to the next gift until she had played for a while with the last one. She loved on her baby dolls and she poured pretend tea for everyone and she played store with her pretend cash register... it was so much fun. She tried so hard to play with Sam but he is so difficult these days.

On my birthday, Brad and the kids gave me some new Vera Bradley bags. Grandmomma kept the kids so Brad could take me out to eat and to a movie. Beth and Alex went to eat with us at the Outback (of course) and then we went alone to the movies to see National Treasure 2. It was pretty good.

Then Friday morning (the 28th) I met several of my friends from school and their children to visit the Catawba Science Center in Hickory. We ate lunch at Chic-Fil-A and then we went to the CSC. They have really cool exhibits and best of all, they have a small aquarium with a touch tank and a planetarium. It's all free except for the shows at the planetarium and they are only $3. The kids were wiped out after a long day and Lily napped in the van all the way home.

Friday night, Brad had a sleepover at the boy scout hut so I had Billy and Lea over. We rented a bunch of movies and picked up some supper from mom and dad's. They slept in the recliners that night then I took them home Saturday morning while I took Sam to basketball practice. Brad took his dad to the Wake Forest Bowl Game in Charlotte Saturday for Christmas so he wasn't home all day. I picked Billy and Lea up again and we went to WalMart before picking up lunch from mom and dad's again and coming home to watch the last of our movies. Then (whew) when Brad got home (around 6) we got ready and went to our friends Katie and Greg's house for supper. Beth and Alex and their kids were there, and so were Becky and Daniel. We had a really good time just hanging out.

This morning I got up and cooked some sausage links for breakfast and I started some vegetable soup for lunch and supper since it is such a dreary, sleepy day. I played hookey from church with the kids. Brad had to go teach Sunday School and then he was going to go by his office and check on some things before coming home. So far, Christmas break has been really good. I have stayed busy but nothing too stressful. I am beginning to dread Wednesday and the return to work. I know it will be here before I know it. But while I am home, I refuse to worry about it. I am enjoying my break and knowing all the while that I deserve it.

One other thing before I end this... mom and dad closed their store yesterday. They have worked their tails off for over a year and they actually seem to have a pretty good business but for many different reasons, they had to finally close the doors. I will have to admit, I am very happy about it because I have been really worried about their health and what it has been doing to them to work the long hard hours that they have been working. They have plans to open the lake back up and have a smaller version of the grill down there. For me, this is a return to "normal". I can't help but feel very strongly that this is what they need and it is also what our family needs. I am happy about it for so many reasons. I have only one thing that makes me sad and that is my daddy... I think he is very disappointed to have to close the store. I know how he is and he is definitely not one to throw in the towel on things, and sometimes that is a downfall. Sometimes, you have to know when you've given something your best try and you have to know when to quit while you still can. I hope he can find some comfort in what I think will be a more relaxed and satisfied life after all is said and done. Change is never easy, for anyone, but I think this is a change that will ultimately be for the better for everyone (except maybe for some of those neighborhood ladies who have enjoyed a break from cooking, thanks to the grill). Just pray for my parents as they go through a lot of change in the next few months.

Christmas Eve...

I think I might be as excited about Santa coming as my kids are! We went to McAdenville last night and it really got me in the spirit. That place is like some magical Christmas land - something out of a movie. It was beautiful. We even put in a Christmas CD and sang Christmas songs. Definitely excited.

Although I am excited about Christmas coming, I am also excited about Christmas being over and the new year starting. Brad and I have talked about sitting down and making out a budget to try and work on our debt (I'd really like to build a pool and do some things to the house one day but it ain't gonna happen until we dig our way out a little). I, of course, hope to start working on my weight again. And you know how you just get ready to get the tree out of the house and get things really cleaned up when Christmas is over? I'm there.

Back to what I was saying...

Back to what I was saying... After Brad came home with the recliner, he then left to go pick up my new kitten. I had been wanting a cat, not just any cat, but one like my blue-kitty that I used to have. He had been looking around for a few weeks trying to find what we were looking forand he brought home this sweet little gray male kitten with pretty green eyes. We named him Rascal and he really is a sweetie. He really can't stand to keep a secret but he really tries hard to be sweet sometimes. I appreciate him a lot right now.

Nikki and I went to take Christmas gifts to the family of a kid we teach today. I always forget how much of a slap in the face those kinds of visits can be. When you see firsthand what problems other people have, it really makes you appreciate your own good fortune. These people had so little but they seemed pretty happy. Worried, of course, but happy. They seemed to realize how important their family was. It just really makes you think hard about your own circumstances. I guess that's what Christmas is supposed to be about. How easy it is to forget...

Home...

Well, today was my first full day of Christmas break and I must say I was quite productive... I did some cleaning, we made Christmas cookies, and I wrapped all the Christmas presents. I even laid out all the "Santa" stuff and got it ready to go for Christmas eve.

This evening then Brad got home, he had a recliner on the back of his truck for me for Christmas. We bought recliners for each other last year right after Christmas and even though mine cost more, his is by far the better one. It is so comfy and it rocks. Mine was not cushiony at all and it did not rock and worst of all, when you reclined in it, it wouldn't stay reclined so you could relax. So, I ended up sitting in his chair or on the couch all the time. He said he wanted his chair back and he wanted me to have somewhere comfy to sit, too, so he bought me one like his for Christmas. And it really is comfy!

Oops, a child is awake... gotta go..

Vroom, vroom...

Well, we broke down and bought Sam a 4-wheeler (yes, a real one) for Christmas. And sure, there's a lot of potential for danger in giving a 6 year old something like that, but I really do think he will be fine with it. He's had that fake 4-wheeler for almost two years and I know that it doesn't seem like a fair comparison, but he really has learned a lot about driving with it. I can't wait to see his reaction when we give it to him...he's going to be thrilled!

It is the middle of the day on Tuesday and I am at home. I took half the day off of work to take Sam to the dentist at 2:00. Right now, I have just finished my lunch and I am relaxing for a few minutes before I have to go pick him up from school. Brad and I are both coming down with a miserable cold and it would be so nice to crank up the fire and throw about three blankets over my head and sleep from now 'til next week! But with all the Christmas preparations and getting this last week of school behind me, I just can't do that yet. Gotta keep on truckin'. Lily's last day of school is today and Sam and I will be finished Thursday. I have not wrapped one single gift!! I still need to buy a fancy dress for Lily (I told her Mrs. Claus made fancy dresses for good little girls and sent them with Santa), I have to buy dog bones for Taco and Burger (because that's what Sam asked Santa to bring), and maybe a few more little stocking stuffers. I would love to find a Nintendo Wii for Brad and the kids from Santa but it doesn't look like I am gonna get that lucky. Maybe I can find one after Christmas. I think I am getting something from Brad (even though he would never admit it) so I need to get something for him. I have a few ideas. I usually take the kids and let them buy something for him from them. He has also asked me what I want for my birthday but I really feel guilty letting him buy me anything because I know we can't afford it, especially after what we've spent on the kids' Christmas this year.

Anyway, it's about that time... goodbye peace and quiet! Gone to get Sam, then Lily, then to the dentist, then home to cook, then to dance class.... ah, the neverending list of things to do and places to go.

Just a stick in the mud?...

OK, something is bothering me. I think people think I am sad all the time. Maybe I am and I'm just used to it and I don't realize I am sad. My kids (at school) have made mention several times recently that I don't smile very often. My assistant principal seems to have asked me a lot lately why he never sees me smile. Brad is always telling me to smile. Does anyone else think I seem like a miserable person? I mean, I do have a lot on my mind usually. And I generally don't like my job, but I thought I was better at hiding that than I apparently am. One of my kids saw me while I was out to eat with some friends and she heard me laugh. She said she had never seen me smile or heard me laugh. How pathetic is that? I know I need to loosen up and learn to have more fun, but I honestly didn't think I was THAT bad. Help!!! I need to loosen up!!! I used to be fun. What happened to me???

Blue October and a good supper...

I am so into Blue October right now. They are awesome! Carmen, I really think you'd like them if you don't already know them.

I cooked my first e-mealz supper tonight. I had marinated chicken with alfredo sauce and broccoli and breadsticks. It was yummy. Tomorrow I am going to have a stroganoff style roast that I am cooking in the crockpot. I think it will be good too. It certainly helps to know ahead of time what you are having instead of staring aimlessly into the pantry at 5 o'clock each day.

I am taking the day off of work tomorrow to go to Lily's Christmas program. I know I probably didn't need to take the whole day but I really didn't feel like going in for the second part of the day (that's the longest part of my day anyway). I am not going to hoard my sick days like some people do. I know my kids are only little once and I plan to take days off to go to things like Christmas programs and other special events. I owe that to myself and to them.

Well, Lily is upstairs asleep in the tent in the playroom. She and Sam were watching a movie up there. I guess I need to go haul her up to her bed now. She is getting so big and heavy!!! Or maybe I am just weak and out of shape. Or maybe both. Oh well, nighty-night!

"Enchanted" weekend...

This weekend sure flew by! We went to our Sunday School Christmas party Friday night and my school Christmas party Saturday night. Friday night was really fun. We ate a great dinner and then we played their Wii. I had never played one before but I had so much fun that I am now on the hunt for one to buy the family for Christmas. I shopped all day Saturday and absolutely no one has them. Best Buy gets their shipments in on Tuesdays and Fridays so I am going to call and check regularly and see what I can come up with between now and Christmas. Got most everything else I needed to buy for Christmas while I was out on Saturday, so maybe I won't have to do much more crowd fighting this season. I am getting less and less patient with age.

Today I went to church and listened to the Christmas Cantata. It was good. My favorite Christmas hymns are "Mary, did you know?" and "What Child is this?" and they were both included in the cantata which made it a hit for me. Afterwards, I took Lea and Billy to see "The Golden Compass" while Lily and I went to see "Enchanted". I had seen it getting pretty good reviews in Entertainment Weekly, but I still wasn't dying to see it or anything. I was really surprised. It was so cute. Or maybe I was just desperate to see a good movie and whatever I watched today would've been good. It was honestly a really good movie (as far as those kid/fairy tale stories go anyway). What made it even better was the trailer for the next Season of Lost that they showed before the movie! I am SOOOOOO excited! Season 3 comes out on DVD December 11 (going to get it THAT day unless the world comes to an end or something) so if you are not yet a Lostie then you have a little time left to become one before Season 4 starts. My suggestion is to go to a video store (Family Video has it) and start with the first Season and watch as much as you can stand at once. I really believe that once you start, you won't be able to stop. It is GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! The bad thing about it is that you really have to have watched from the very start.

Made semi-homemade chicken noodle soup for supper tonight. Did I tell you about e-mealz yet? www.e-mealz.com Read about it in the doctor's office the other day waiting for Sam's flu shot. They plan your meals for you for the week and they even provide you with a shopping list to cook all the meals they suggest. The list is divided by category (produce, deli, canned, etc.) and you can even request a specific grocery store and they will suggest brands carried by that store AND the prices for each item. This is my first week trying it. I went to the grocery store today and bought all I would need for this week. I'll let you know how it goes. And also, I am still cleaning my sink each night. And it is still making me smile in the morning. I'm taking my time in moving on to the next step, but I want to make sure I don't jump into this too fast and burn out.

Also not sure if I mentioned on here that I had a major PMS, psycho day on Thursday. I had gone three days without my Effexor and I was a total bitch. Thought it was all because of no meds, then I realized mother nature had a hand in that as well...(you girls catch my drift). I was feelings very edgy and so I call Dr. Lampley and he changed me to Prozac. I started taking it Thursday night and I have felt pretty good ever since. The Effexor was really making me jumpy and I felt like I was having blood pressure problems. My heart was pounding all the time too. Glad to get off of that and try something different that hopefully won't make me feel like I've been running a race.

Oh well, I am gonna run read a little before bed. I bought a new book Saturday, the second in a series by the "Left Behind" writers telling the story of each of the writers of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke & John). John's was first and I read it about a year ago. Those of you who know me will think this totally doesn't sounds like something I would read, but honestly, I am fascinated. It is like reading a history book, only with a personal story attached to it. This one is Mark's story. I'll let you know if it is as good as the first one. Nighty-night.

Party party...

Well, the Christmas season is officially here, I guess. I have a Sunday School Christmas party tonight and my school Christmas party tomorrow. The Sunday School party is the same as usual... steak dinner at June's house, probably followed by a game or two of Catch Phrase. We usually have a lot of fun. Our school Christmas party is going to be quite a spectacle. Our principal really likes to go all out. This year he has reserved the Owl's Eye vineyard and winery and he has a local country artist that has made it "big", Megan Peeler, coming to perform for us. He always cooks ribs and there's tons of other food. The best thing is that everyone really lets loose and has a good time. It should be a lot of fun. Matt & Lindsay are watching the kiddo's tonight and they are staying with Grandmomma and Granddaddy tomorrow night.

Flylady..

I'm a sucker for a gimmick. Any new program, new fad...I'll try it. I really like this flylady idea. This lady is my kind of lady. Organization, routine...I love it. Anyway, I think I mentioned the other day that her program starts by having you clean your sink every night before bed. I have been doing that and as silly as it sounds...you feel really good the next morning when you see that shiny sink. Maybe I'm just easy to please (although that's not what my daddy always told me!) but it's the little stuff that really makes a big difference to me. I've been running the dishwasher every night before bed and emptying it each morning before I go to school. Then when I come home I have a clean sink and a place to put all the dirty dishes so my sink stays clean. I think I may be ready for the next step in her program! Gotta run build a castle with the kids... may write more later.

She's better. Nope, wait a minute...

Yesterday Lily was back to her usual rambunctious self after feeling really lousy at the end of last week. This morning I knew something was up because she got up and went straight to the refrigerator, got her sippy cup out, turned on the tv, and covered herself up on the couch. No demands for little snacks, no demanding mom to get up and cover her up and turn the tv. I was so shocked, I first thought someone had broken into the house when I heard her and I knew she hadn't come to wake me up. I knew Sam spent the nite with Lea at mom's and Brad was still in the bed beside me. Anyway, I cuddled up to her on the couch and I noticed immediately that she was very "ragdoll"-ish. She didn't speak to me (now THAT is unusual) and she didn't smile. We laid there for about thirty minutes and out of nowhere she threw up all over the side of the couch and the floor. Cleaned that up and got her a pedialyte popsicle. She laid there and sucked on the popsicle for a minute or two and threw up again. She looked miserable. Glassy eyes, pale skin, just pitiful. She fell asleep and slept for about an hour and when she woke up she seemed to feel much better. She has eaten a whole plain rice cake and she's had two pedialyte pops and she has kept them down. She has talked a little but she's still not moved off the couch. I offered to get her dressed but she said no. She looks like she might fall back asleep any minute. I did manage to get her antibiotic in her and so far (knock on wood) it has stayed down. It's like I told Daddy, she can be so aggravating sometimes, talking nonstop and having all that energy. The when she doesn't feel good and that part of her personality is gone, you really miss it. I can remember taking Sam for well-checks at the doctor when he was little and finding double ear infections. He never let us know when he felt bad. He didn't cry or fuss or anything. She's not fussy or anything like that, but she just isn't her usual happy self and that's enough to let me know that something is not right with her.

Why don't I get to go to bed at 7:30?...

Well, I guess you could say I am irritated at Brad (nothing major, just his usual). The kids got me up at just a few minutes past 6 this morning. He slept until around 7:30 and when he got up he went to church to help the brotherhood put together treat bags for Santa's visit tomorrow night. When he got home, he went straight back out to check the cows and piddle in his pasture, as always. He went to buy some poles to begin building his dock down at the pond. I took Sam, Lea, and Lily to Sam's practice (which went much better than his last practice, by the way). They wanted to come home and play outside. I tried to get them to agree to Christmas shopping because I need to do at least another day of that, and I do not want to wait until the week before. Anyway, he came in this evening and stayed for about fifteen minutes and he said he wanted to go down to his parents to look on the internet at the go-kart we are thinking of buying Sam for Christmas. He didn't want to have it up here in front of Sam and he said he wanted to ask his dad a question or two. Ok, then he comes back and says he wants to go to mom and dad's for supper, so he goes to order and pick up supper. So, all day he has not been home and I have been here all day by myself with the kids and guess what??? He ate his supper, laid in the chair and went to sleep. I woke him up because his snoring was grossing me out and he got up and went to bed at 7:30!!! He stuck his head out of the bedroom door before he went to bed to remind me to turn off the Chrsitmas lights outside before I came to bed. I just wanted to scream at him that I would love to go to bed at 7:30. I would love to go to bed without having to tuck everybody in and read some book about Barbie or Dora. This is what drives me crazy about him, as much as I love him. Some things are just never going to be fair and equal. Besides that, it drives me nuts that he cannot sit still and just talk to me. He's gotta be up moving and breaking a sweat, or else he's asleep in three seconds flat. I never get a bit of conversation out of the man. And he can talk all day long to my friends when he's around them, or to any of his scout mom's, but getting him to talk to me is like pulling teeth. Of course, he says he tells me things, but he doesn't. I get half of my information about his life by listening to his end of his phone conversations with his mom or dad. UGH! I just want someone to talk to me for goodness sake!!

I was looking at this website www.flylady.net today. It seems to be a really good, do-able way for me to get things organized so that I can keep my house clean and my life organized. As funny as it sounds, her first step is to clean your sink until it shines and to make sure you do that every night before you go to bed so that you will have that shiny sink looking at you when you get up in the morning. So, tonight I soaked my sink in bleach, then I rinsed it and scrubbed it down with Comet. I dried it and put a little lemon oil on it to give it some shine. As crazy as it sounds, it was very pretty and it did make me feel good. I like the way she thinks...very anal retentive, like me. But she also has found a way to meet her anal retentive needs without driving herself crazy...exactly what I need. It is step-by-step, you have to go slow so that you make each step a habit and you are not allowed to skip steps. If you have time, you should take a look at it, especially if you have kids and work outside the home. I was really impressed.

OK, well, Lily is ready for bed so I'm off to tuck her in. Sam's at Mimi's tonight and I considered buying a movie on pay-per-view when she went to bed. I'm not sure if I will now or not since I have no one to watch it with me. What a poopy-head!

By the way, mom...

I didn't mean to make it sound like my parents beat me mercilessly on a daily basis when I was ranting about Sam's behavior. Nothing like that. I don't think they really had to. Billy and I were never that bad. But, I think we both knew that if they told us to stop something or we would get in trouble, we knew without a doubt that they were serious. This is what I was saying about Sam... I just have to do this enough to make a believer out of him and then hopefully my evil eye will suffice to put an end to any foolishness when it begins. I love you mom & dad... thank you for spanking me. Bet you never thought you'd hear that, did you? While I am at it, thank you for making me clean up. Thank you for having high expectations when it came ot school and everything else. Thank you for grounding me when I needed it. Geez, thank you for everything. I appreicate now that you weren't just being mean and I appreciate how much easier it would have been for you just to throw your hands up and say "eh, whatever...". Good job.

My sick baby...

Linda called me at school this morning because Lily had thrown up. She has had diarrhea for a couple of days (nothing major) and she has been complaining of her legs hurting. I took the rest of the day off work and I took her to the doctor. She has also had some congestion, mostly throat drainage as opposed to a runny nose, for about three weeks, but it hasn't been anything bad either. Anyway, the doctor seems to think she has a sinus infection and the drainage has caused her to have the upset stomach. The leg pain he attributed to lack of potassium because she has had the diarrhea and vomiting. He prescribed her an antibiotic and we went on our merry way. She is asleep right now (and I should be too, I guess). She is so precious when she's asleep. Her mouth is hanging open and that bobby is dangling from her lips - I mean, she's out cold. Although she doesn't seem to feel bad, she's still talking and laughing and all that kind of stuff, but you can look at her face and tell she's just puny. Grandmomma is getting Sam from school this afternoon for me so maybe I can join Lilybelle for a much needed nap.

Sam's in trouble...

Sam had a note sent home from school yesterday saying that he had never been so disruptive. He could not keep his bottom in his seat, when he was in his seat he could not keep his head up. He blurted out all day and he had to have silent lunch. So, I took TV away from him last night. He came straight home, did homework, ate supper, took a bath, had a nice, long, stern talking-to from his dad and I, then he went to bed at 7pm. Today he apparently had a good day at school but then he was a complete pain after he got home. I took him to get a haircut. He couldn't sit still while I was getting my hair cut. He kept jumping around in the beauty shop. The I took him to mom and dad's to get supper and then took him straight to basketball practice. That's where all hell broke loose... He was AWFUL! He wouldn't keep his hands off the other boys. I watched him pretend to fart on a little girl's head. He kept doing this fake-falling-down thing that he does. He was doing everything except playing basketball. He was so disrespectful to his coach. He wanted to wrestle with his buddies, kept coming up behind them and getting them in a headlock, etc. I pulled him off the court twice and warned him about his behavior. By the time we left he had stretched his shirt so much that it looked like his daddy could have worn it. He had nearly chewed holes in his sleeves...I mean it was ruined. So when it was all over I took him to the car and I let it roll. I made him take his shirt off and I told him that if he couldn't wear his clothes appropriately that he could just not wear clothes. I don't think I have ever let him have it like I did. I was so mad I had to pull the car over. When we got home, I made him go to his room and I spanked him with the belt. I have only done that a couple of other times, but I am so worried that he is turning into a super spoiled brat. I see too many of those on a daily basis and I swear to you all they need is a good spanking and they need to have some healthy fear for their parents. I want Sam to know that when I say something I mean it. I really think he knew he had pushed me as far as he could push me. I told him that I was tired of being pleasant to him when he was so disobedient and disrespectful and that I intended to start spanking him whenever he decided to be that way. I hate to spank him, really I do, but I keep reminding myself of the kids I see every single day who have not been spanked enough in their lives and what it has done to them. It has made them too big for their britches, it has made them have absolutely no respect for authority. I dropped a kid's level at school today just because he told me I wouldn't do it. He jokingly said he didn't care if I dropped his level, it didn't mean anything to him anyway. So, I am going to drop his level or die. I never would have talked to my teachers that way. When he realized that I really was going to drop his level, he begged me not to and he told me he hadn't done anything. I started listed example after example of times he had been disrespectful to me, and times when he had been insubordinate. I ask him repeatedly every day to get out of the hallway after the first bell rings and he goes back out there every day. That's blatant insubordination. So guess what? He's getting his level dropped and its his own doggone fault. My point being that I am tired of kids (including my own) thinking that the rules don't apply to them and that they don't have to listen when they are told to do something. I can see that I am feeding this monster by standing aside and doing nothing. At school, I plan to take action by doing what I can (dropping levels and calling parents) and at home I am going to start spanking, because I know that it worked for me. Just the fear that I would get a spanking was enough. And I don't even think I had that many spankings...just enough to show me that mom & dad meant business and that they WOULD do it if they had to. So, as much as it really hurts, I feel like I am doing more of a disservice to my kids by not spanking them. Have I defended myself enough? Somebody back me up here.

Back to the Grind...again...

Well, once again I had to go back to stinkin' school. I had such a nice break. We had Thanksgiving lunch at Linda's with Brad's parents & grandparents (we had supper Wednesday night with Matt & Lindsay & his parents). We went to get a tree Thursday afternoon, then the kids spent the night with Grandmomma & Granddaddy that night so Brad & I could get up and look for a four-wheeler for Sam for Christmas Friday morning. We shopped until about 3, picked up the kids, then we went to get one of Sam's friends from school to spend the night with him. We went to basketball practice Saturday then Sam went to his friend's house to spend the night Saturday night. We sent Lily to stay with Matt & Lindsay for a few hours, and Brad and I visited our favorite place to eat, Outback. It was so yummy! Brad had an Eagle ceremony at First Baptist Sunday morning and Sam was still at his friend's house, so Lily and I played hookey from church and went to WalMart instead. We came home and we started working on decorating the outside of the house. Packed lunches, did bookbag inspections, laid out Monday morning's clothes, sent everyone to bed.... and before we knew it the alarm clock was beeping at us to get moving. It was so hard to get up, too. And it was SUCH a long day..

Anyway, I have been feeling really good (emotionally) lately. I think the medicine is doing its trick. Of course, I think the fact that it is closing in on Christmas and family is feeling more like family these days is helping me to keep my chin up and be positive. And it always helps to know that I have a nice break from work to look forward to over Christmas. I make it sound like I really hate my job, don't I? It's not that I hate it that much, it's just that I can only take it in small doses. If I could work three weeks then have a week off all year round, life would be great! I think the kids would be better, too.

My friend Nikki came back to work today. She has been out for several weeks and I have really missed her! My friend Becky found out she is having a boy...we all thought for sure it was a girl! She is due in April and she is finally starting to look pregnant. She's so cute! I really don't want any more children (we had Brad "fixed" anyway) but I think I would be pregnant for the rest of my life if I could. I absolutely loved it. I was very lucky...never sick, no major problems to speak of. I really did get to enjoy it because I didn't have to endure all the stuff some people have to endure. Plus, you get to eat whatever you want and nobody fusses at you or looks at you like you're a pig. :)

Well, I believe I will go put a puzzle together. I need to be grading papers but I am really not in the mood. I had a big bowl of homemade vegetable soup for supper on this cold, rainy night and it was perfect. I'm feeling really relaxed and satisfied, so why would I want to ruin it by grading papers?

Something else to waste your time...

Yeah, just something else I found to do when I should be doing other things... www.jigzone.com

Going to Grandmomma's...

We are going to Brad's mom's house tonight for our Thanksgiving dinner with them. Of course, I asked if I could bring anything and she just couldn't think of a thing...typical. I will probably make some stuff and take it anyway because I am sure everyone else will bring something. Anyway, I am home now, just like I wanted, and I just don't know what to do with myself first. I need a haircut. I need to get the oil changed in my car. I need to clean out my car and have it washed. Before I can do any of that, I have to get up and get my shower! That's the hard part. I would much prefer to lay around in my PJ's for the next five days. I checked my email and I had lots of ads for sales the day after Thanksgiving. I haven't attempted to go out on the day after Thanksgiving for several years but if I could find a good enough bargain, I just might do it this year. Best Buy looks pretty promising, although I really don't need anything specific there. I would like to find some good deals on DVD's for the kid's stockings and Sam has finally taken somewhat of an interest in his Gameboy so some games might be an idea. I really want to get him a four wheeler or a go-kart but they are so expensive. And I feel like I would need to get Lily something comparable. She will be happy with a Barbie doll. That's all she'll say she wants. I really need to spend some time cleaning out their playroom and their rooms and getting rid of some toys they don't play with anymore. I just can't do that with them here though. They claim to play with it all, you know. I saw a really cute pink convertible corvette at Toys R' Us that she would love... it was $300. It just seems ridiculous. Well, I guess if I'm gonna accomplish anything today I am going to have to get up from here. I'll let you know what I manage to get done today.

Too cozy...

Boy, did having Thanksgiving dinner yesterday mess with my mind, or what?!? I was so cozy in the bed this morning... feeling as though I was already out on Thanksgiving break...and then...beep, beep, beep!!! Man! What a disappointment to have to get up and go to work for two days before officially being out on break! I know, some of you are thinking I should shut up and be thankful I get to be out at all, not everyone gets extra days off of work for holidays. But I swear, maybe it is arrogant of me, but I think I deserve more days off of work for putting up with all that I put up with! I am SO looking forward to the end of the day tomorrow when that last bell rings and the kiddies are out the door until next Monday! Ahhhh... less than 24 hours away!

Thanksgiving at Mom's...

Today we had Thanksgiving dinner at mom and dad's. The food was delicious (as usual)! Best of all, we had some of the best time together as a family that we have had in a very long time (or at least I enjoyed it). Daddy went walking outside with us (got him away from that cursed television!). Mom was in a pretty good mood, going through some pictures. Overall, it was just a nice time visiting with them. I am extremely thankful that things seem to be improving with my relationship with my family. I love them so much and I hope they know how thankful I am for every second I get to spend with them.

Christmas spirit...

Becky & I went to Pineville to Garden Ridge tonight. I needed some garland for the front porch and, of course, I ended up buying lots of new Christmas decorations. Way more than I needed, but it at least got me in the mood to decorate. I feel like I have slapped up a tree the past couple of years...well, actually, since we moved in the house. This year, I really want to take the time to decorate a tree and make the house look really nice. Last year, especially, I was downright ashamed of the job I did decorating. I just haven't had the Christmas spirit but I think I am feeling it a little more this year. I hope to get the tree up and decorated Thursday or Friday.

Damn the blue bobby...

Lily just had a full 90 minute screaming, kicking tantrum because she wanted a BLUE bobby (pacifier) to match her BLUE pajamas... yes, you heard me...she threw a fit because her bobby didn't match her clothes. The clothes she was going to SLEEP in, nonetheless. I swear, I thought I would go mad before she finally gave in and fell asleep. I have never encountered such a headstrong child in all my life. And such a drama queen! I sent her to her room almost immediately and told her she was just going to have to go to bed early if she couldn't stop crying. When she got up there, I went to tuck her in and she started kicking and throwing the covers off her bed while screaming that she didn't like her clear bobby. I spanked her. As soon as I got downstairs, I heard her bobby hit the wall, then she started crying that she couldn't find her bobby. I went upstairs (giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she just dropped it), found the bobby under her bed, gave it to her only to have the whole thing start again because it wasn't the BLUE bobby. When I got back downstairs, I heard it hit the wall again. I let her cry for at least 15-20 minutes before I went up to find it again. Tantrum started again when I didn't give her the BLUE bobby. I came back downstairs, called Brad (he worked late) to tell him he better come home before I lost my mind. Then I called mom (needed a witness so SOMEONE could hear what I was going through). Just before it all ended, the child buried her bobby in her toybox, yes... buried it in her toybox... to try to get me to get her a BLUE bobby instead. She finally gave in and was asleep within a few minutes of me getting her bobby out of her toybox. I will be shocked if she can speak tomorrow after screaming like she did for so long. And I'll be shocked if I survive until Monday...Brad is going camping with Sam and the scouts leaving me alone with the princess. Say a little prayer for me...

The truth about Sam...

Well, today Grandmomma had to have some dental work done so I had to take part of the day off to pick up the kids from school. It worked out pretty good because I went by Subway and took a sandwich to Sam and ate lunch with him. It will probably be the only time I get to do that this year. He was jealous the other day because Brad was going to eat at the Thanksgiving luncheon with Lily at her preschool and he said he wished someone would come to his school to eat with him. So, I did. I told mom earlier, if you want to know what your kid is really like and what kind of things they really do at school, just go eat lunch with them and listen to what all their little friends have to say!
One kid says, "Sam already had to pull a ticket today."
"Really, what'd he do?"
"He called Nya a bad name. I don't feel like saying what it was."
"Oh really? Is Sam usually good at school?"
"No, not really. He's good sometimes on the playground, but that's about it."
"Hmmm..."
"Sam has a girlfriend, too."
"Really? A girlfriend?"
"Yeah, her name is Anna and he kissed her."
"Really!?"
"Yeah."
Meanwhile, all the others are sitting there nodding and chiming in from time to time, while Sam sat there and said, "They're lying, momma."
Needless, to say it was interesting.
The teacher had some interesting news to share, too. He called a little girl in his group an idiot because she wouldn't be quiet so their group could get points (for whatever). And he has been testing his teacher by doing the opposite of what she says. She told him to put down his pencil and he instead rolled his pencil around on his desk. She told him not to run and he took off running down the hallway. He's been doing this stuff to me at home, too. I'm not sure what to do about it because I feel like a lot of it is just to get attention. Lily demands so much attention from us, I feel like even though I try really hard to be attentive to Sam, he feels ignored because he has this drama queen for a sister. I am afraid he is going to be fighting this battle all his life. So, what do I do? Every time I try to talk to him about anything, he just busts out crying and you can't talk to him at all. When you ask him why he's crying, he says "because you're mad at me." I'm just not sure how to handle this.

I'm really sleepy and I need to fix something for supper. Brad will be home in a few minutes and I'm sure he's not hungry (he never is this early). The wind is blowing like crazy outside and it just looks like it's cold. I am so content sitting here in the recliner covered up with my blanket with my computer on my lap. It just seems like such a shame to get up and move before I really have to. Well, maybe I'll just sit here and surf a while. Can't hurt, can it?

Starting another diet...

I have to do something about my weight... lost 45 pounds last year and I have gained back a little less than 20 since the beginning of the summer. Summer was really hard because I was home and I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Then I came back to school...stress attack... and I have started right back down the path to a fatter butt. My clothes that were too big on me have started fitting again :( I just hate it so I have to do something. I have been reading the Dr. Oz books and he really makes sense. He talks about eating things that are more "natural" and less processed. Stay away from enriched flours, sugars, etc. He also advises a diet that includes "good" fats. He says that is the downfall of the all protein diets is that your meats today are so much higher in fat than they used to be because of the way the animals are fed, etc.

I don't know, I still have a lot of reading to do. I actually cooked fish (tilapia) for supper last night with steamed broccoli and carrots. Lily had a meltdown and refused to eat anything except the shredded cheese I gave the kids to go on top of their broccoli. Then, of course, two minutes after supper, she wanted a little snack and I refused. After a solid hour...no joke... of her crying through her bath and getting her PJ's on, I finally broke down and gave her some peanut butter crackers. I feel bad because my kids eating habits are almost as bad as mine. If you ask them what they want for supper, they ALWAYS say chicken nuggets and french fries. I'm a terrible mother.

Anyway, today I had game duty after school. Me and Becky took the money at the door for the wrestling match. We actually did very little work but we had fun working on an Intelligence test that momma emailed me. Gotta run... almost time to go...Lily has dance tonight.

Cleaning freak...

Today I did not have to go to work because it is Veteran's Day. Grandmomma offered to keep the kids last night so I accepted. This morning I slept until 8am, then I took Lily to preschool at 9, brought Sam back home with me, and then the cleaning frenzy began... I have cleaned all day, stopping only long enough to go pick Lily up from preschool at 1pm. Sam has played in his room and has had a blast because Lily wasn't here to interrupt him. I have washed every stitch of clothing in the house, changed my sheets, washed the bathroom and kitchen rugs. I mopped the entire downstairs, cleaned the bathrooms, vaccumed, & dusted. I cleaned out my closet, took all my summer stuff up to the attic, brought all my winter stuff down & put it in the closet. My house really needed this. My next strategy for keeping it clean is to come up with a weekly schedule where I do one major cleaning chore per day (ie. toilets, tubs, vaccuming, etc.). It is going to be hard because my weeks are so hectic, but with as much other stuff as I fit into my schedule, surely I can manage ONE chore per day. We'll see...

You're probably wondering how I am able to sit down and write this at 3 o'clock...well, I'm glad you asked. My prince is upstairs in his bed asleep & my princess fell out on the couch in her favorite princess outfit (high heels & all). She has been walking around with a Bob the Builder umbrella pretending it is raining for the past hour. It got quiet suddenly and I came through the living room only to find her half on/half off the couch. The umbrella and her baby were laying on the couch beside her. I swear, it's like she just collapsed into some enchanted slumber mid-step and was just lucky the couch was close enough to catch her. So, I decided to make the best of a quiet moment and take a little break.

Did I mention yet about Sam starting basketball? He went to his first practice on Saturday and he loved it. I think it is going to be a great thing for him. I have tried to get him interested in playing sports but he has thus far been happy to stay home and play in the backyard. He brought the singup sheet home and asked to participate totally on his own. I guess this is the best way to do it because I know he is truly interested. I can't wait to see him in his little uniform. By the way, speaking of cuteness, his teeth are coming in now. I have throroughly enjoyed his snaggle-tooth days.

OK, I need to run get a couple of other things done before the crew wakes up.

So far, so good...

Well, this week has been a blur (as most weeks are). Monday night Brad had both Boy Scouts and City Council, while I took the kids to Chic-Fil-A for Fallston School spirit night. It was a total madhouse. Grandmomma had requested that we go to Kmart afterward to buy Sam a pair of "knock around" shoes to keep down at her house for when she picks him up from school. We did that, then swung by DQ for a blizzard before returning home. Thank goodness they gave out homework passes to everybody who came to Chic-Fil-A because both the kids were asleep in the van before I got home with them. It wasn't even 8 o'clock! This time change has been rough for them. Anyway, I tucked them in the bed and did a load of laundry before Heroes came on. That show just confuses me lately... anybody know what's going on? I'm just tired of trying to figure it out...

So Tuesday (last night), we got home, did homework, ran by Mimi and Paw's to grab some supper, came home, ate, put on Lily's dance gear and headed off to dance. She got to wear tap shoes and they tapped last night. She had a ball! Came home, bathed them, did more laundry, spent 30 minutes putting away clothes in their rooms, put them in the bed, then collapsed in the recliner to read a little bit of my new cookbook that came yesterday. I am going to have to have packages delivered somewhere besides my house from now on. You remember the two Dr. Oz books and what happened to them, right? Well, I just managed to save Jessica Seinfeld and her Deceptively Delicious recipes from my hungry hounds. They had chewed through the box and the book only suffered a few scratches before I found it in the flowerbed. Darn dogs!

That brings us to tonight... we just got home and I sent Sam outside to find a few leaves for a school project he is working on. Lily is whining (of course) for something to eat (a little snack) but we are going to church tonight for supper in about 15 minutes. Brad and I are going to go to Bible Study (the new preacher is starting a new study tonight that sounds pretty interesting) while the kids are in their classes. When we get home, it will be baths and bed for the kids, then I have more laundry to do, lunches to pack, papers to grade and a test to write for tomorrow.

I know I am not the only person who runs around like this all the time. I even recognize that some people have a much busier schedule than I have. It just seems like I never have time to slow down and enjoy anything. Brad and I talk sometimes about being born in the wrong time period... and I really think sometimes that I was. I think that I should have been alive during a slower paced time...back in the time when there were no computers (as much as I love my computer), no phones, & no cars. I just think there was a much deeper appreciation for the little things in life and you weren't so rushed that you never even noticed those little things. Maybe I would have gone totally mad with boredom, but I don't think so. Anybody else ever think about such weird and crazy things as me?

Fall back...

Spring forward, fall back... well, it is 6:20 (new time) and I am up with both my children because apparently someone forgot to tell them that you get to sleep an extra hour when the time changes in the fall. Lily has been up since 5:00. She went straight to Sam's room and got in his bed and woke him up, too. I slept on the couch because Brad is going through one of his hard-to-sleep-with phases. When he gets stressed out about work or when he gets even the slightest cold, he snores, he tosses and turns, he knocks into me with his sharp elbow, he pulls the covers, he talks... and weirdest of all, he smacks his lips! I always laugh at him and tell him he must be dreaming about eating. Anyway, at about 3am, I had had all I could take for the night. I bought him some Melatonin (like my buddy Carmen suggested) and I told him to take it before he came to bed. I'm not sure if he did or not because I was out like a light when he came to bed. I hope it helps him because we have been so snippy at each other lately and it is literally because of our sleeping patterns. You know, it's funny, I always assumed that when people had children their sleep was disturbed for a year or so while their baby learned to sleep through the night. Pretty naive, huh? Now I see clearly that it will be a very long time before I ever get to sleep like I used to. I guess that's part of the natural cycle of life, but I sure do miss sleeping. When I was at home with Mom and Dad, I used to get the BEST sleep because my room in the basement didn't have windows. I would sleep in the middle of my bed and I literally did not move all night. It was wonderful. Now, if it's not my kids keeping me up, it's Brad. Oh, well, that's life.

We went to see A Bee Movie yesterday with Billy and Lea. I wasn't impressed. Lily danced at Hog Happenin' at 1pm and then we went to the mall for about an hour before the movie started. After the movie, we went to WalMart. Billy has lost his license again and he had promised Lea he would take her to the movie so he called on me. I don't really mind except that it seems like Sam's behavior is so much worse when Lea is around. And Lily is in a phase right now where she WILL NOT stop talking. And every sentence begins with "Momma..."!!! It is driving me mad! She doesn't even have anything to say and she will just say Momma over and over until I answer her, then she thinks of a question to ask me...usually "What time is it?". Linda has her so spoiled. When she wants something, she demands it RIGHT THEN. When she says jump, Grandmomma jumps. I'm too lazy and her demands are not always legitimate needs (a little snack at 5 in the morning, for example) so I try to put her off, which leads to whining. She will actually whimper like a dog when she doesn't get her way. I put up with it for as long as I can stand it but she is a persistent little cuss and I snap after so long. I know I am doing wrong when I give in, but I swear my mind is just fragile or something because I reach a point where there is NO MORE patience. UGH!

The weather has been absolutely beautiful lately. Crisp, cool mornings and warm, sunny afternoons. I love when the weather changes..whether it is Spring or Fall... my favorite time of year is when you can feel the next season trying to break through the current one. It can be frustrating when you're trying to dress for that kind of weather, but it is still my favorite. Of course, I am a little concerned that it is November and we are just starting to feel that transition. The kids have asked when it will snow again and I truly wonder if we'll have anymore "real" snows like we used to have. That makes me sad for them. I guess there's always man made snow on the ski slopes... I guess I'll have to learn to ski...now that should be interesting :)

Halloween is over & my sleepless hubby...

Thank goodness Halloween is over. Every kid I teach came to school today with a large bag of Halloween candy they stole from their younger brothers and sisters. They were bouncing off the walls! My own kids aren't exactly calm... Sam keeps "falling" in the floor. He is getting on my nerves with it, too. Lily got up at 4am and climbed in bed with me talking up a storm. She crashed last night after all the candy but I think the sugar kicked in again this morning and got her up. One good thing came from her getting up so early... she woke Brad up and asked him to cook her bacon and eggs. I guess he felt guilty (that or bacon and eggs sounded really good to him, too) cause he got up and cooked breakfast around 6am. I slept until around 6:15 and then ended up at work a few minutes earlier than usual. Worked out rather nicely, except that I am sleepy now (having been in and out of sleep that last bit of the morning).

Tonight was the first night we were able to stay at home this week so I actually cooked supper. I made pork chops, pintos, greens, cornbread and tea. And I don't mind saying that it was really good.

Brad left to go to a scout meeting at 7, then called a few minutes later to say he was mistaken about his meeting and he was going to the sale barn instead. I wish he would sit still every once in a while! He is constantly on the go and then I feel guilty for ever sitting down to relax. He and I have been sort of pissy at each other lately. I get mad at him because he can't get up in the morning. He gets mad at me when I go to bed at night. I usually go around 10 o'clock but he will stay up until midnight or 1am regularly. He says he gets sleepy, comes to bed, then can't go to sleep. He'll stay up and do laundry, which I appreciate, but we end up never having any time together because our schedules are so opposite. I need him to do a better job in the morning because as he sleeps late, I have to get the kids ready and then it ends up making me late for work. I like to leave around 7:15 but I can't usually get out of the house until 7:30, which causes me to hit bus traffic. I have explained this to him, it gets better for about a week, and then it slowly returns back to the same old same old. And when he makes sassy little comments to me when I tell him I'm going to bed, I end up making sassy comments back about how one of us has to be able to get up the next morning...and it continues from there. I just don't know how to solve this problem because I really think he has some legitimate sleep problems. Anyway... this problems recurs with us... it sorts itself out and gets better for a spell, then it will come back with a vengeance. I guess right now it's just peaking because I'm about to paddle his head with my shoe to get him moving!

Trying not to spend this whole post complaining (sorry, I'm still working on that...I am too much like my Granny), I AM thankful that my husband helps out around the house, even if it is in the middle of the night. It is nice to get up and see all the laundry baskets empty and all the clothes folded. I am also thankful that tomorrow is FRIDAY! :)

Good news...

I am so thankful to be able to report that Nikki came through the surgery with no problems and that her tumor was benign! It is so nice to hear good news and to be able to pass it along. I am so relieved and happy for her. Tonight I am thankful for my own health, as well as that of my friends and family. You know, I think sometimes God tests us and sends us challenges just to show us how resilient we are...especially when we are feeling fragile. Funny how that works.

My friend Nikki...

Today my friend and teammate from school, Nikki, is having surgery. She thought she had just blown out her knee and went in to have it looked at and discovered that she has a tumor in her femur that has grown so large that it has cracked her kneecap. The doctor's have been afraid she would further damage her leg and potentially be down for 6-8 months so they have really moved things along and scheduled the surgery really quickly. They will remove the tumor and biopsy it at that time. Being that she has already had cancer earlier in her life, she is very worried about the results. She has two teenage boys and she is very involved in their lives. She is also an extremely dedicated teacher. I rarely ask people I know to pray... I don't know why. My friend Nikki really needs all the prayer that she can get from anyone out there who prays. She was very uneasy about the surgery going into it and I am hoping and praying that she can get some good news when she gets out. She works so hard and has overcome a lot of obstacles in her life and she just really needs a break. So, if you pray, please pray for Nikki today.

Occipital Neuralgia, Halloween & Dr. Oz...

The neurologist worked me in this past Saturday and said I had Occipital Neuralgia. Spasming muscles in my necks were pinching my occipital nerve which was causing one killer headache. He gave me several injections of prednisone directly in my neck and head to relax that muscle. By the end of the day, I was feeling much better. Amazing, huh?

I took my little witch and my little pirate to the hayride in Shallowbrook tonight. They were so exhausted! Lily asked when it was "not gonna be Halloween anymore". She said she was getting "too tired to Halloween". They are both growing up so fast. I can remember having to help them both up and down off the hay trailer and this year they both jumped off and ran up to the houses on their own.

Just finished watching Heroes, which used to be such a great show. Now, I have to admit, I am getting really tired of it. It is getting sillier and sillier and nothing ever happens. Although Peter Petrelli still looks great, so I guess I'll continue watching! :)

My Dr. Oz books came in the mail at the end of last week sometime. Get this...this could only happen to me... the mailman brought the books along with my other mail up to the house and left them on the porch since it had been raining. The dogs decided my books should be their snack and they drug them into the yard and chewed them to pieces. My books were still readable, but we had to let them dry out and I have to try to ignore the mangled edges as I read. I was so pissed.

Speaking of mail, I got the bill the other day for my ER visit... $1333!!! Can you believe that?? And I am not sure that that includes the CAT scan because I think I will get a seperate bill from radiology. Not sure.

Halloween dance...

Tonight was our Halloween dance at school. I set up this booth where the kids paid a dollar to stick their hands in a bucket of nastiness they couldn't see. I had worms (spaghetti), maggots (rice), a human heart (a peeled tomatoe), and eyeballs (peeled muscadines). I made $68 dollars! They really freaked out over the human heart...it was hilarious to see their reactions. It was pretty fun...we had a good turnout, which means we will make a nice profit for our Outer Banks scholarship fund this year. Tonight I am thankful for times when I can be myself with my students and I don't have to be "the teacher". I am finding that it is more and more important to me to get to know me kids on a more personal basis. I do a better job teaching them when I get to know them as people.

Skipping class & catching up...

Lily was super tired tonight. So tired she said she didn't want to go to dance class because she was sleepy! Her mom was feeling much the same so I decided we would skip class tonight. I am frustrated because they called me from the doctor today to say that the neurologist can't see me until December 17th. By then, my head probably will either have exploded or I will be fully recovered. I guess there's nothing left for me to do except wait.
I need to think of what I am thankful for tonight... I am thankful for the time I have had at work lately to catch up on things. My classes were broken up last week so my kids could receive 45 minutes of computer instruction each day in preparation for their competency test in January. Although I had to stay with them in the lab, I had time to do whatever I needed. After being out all those days, I had lots to catch up on. I was able to get all my papers graded, my grades entered into the computer, lesson plans written for the entire week, and I started working on a school webpage. I am feeling much better about work since I have had the chance to catch up. Also, I think my medicine is helping me to concentrate. I used to feel so overwhelmed by what I had to do that I never felt like I could concentrate on any one task. Now, I feel like I can sit down and finish one thing before moving on to another. It's nice.

Priorities & being positive...

I have been really working hard to be positive lately. I have also been working really hard to make myself relax and take inventory of my life and prioritize. I worry too much about insignificant things! So this weekend, I didn't freak out about cleaning my house all weekend, even though it could have stood a good cleaning. And I didn't spend hours on lesson plans, as a matter of fact, I didn't bring anything home from work this weekend. Saturday morning, Carmen and I took our kids to the City Services Showcase, which made Brad happy because it was important to him that we be there. Carmen and I had not seen each other for a long time, so it was good to see her, even if it wasn't for very long. Then I took a nap (woo-hoo!) with Lily Saturday afternoon while Sam spent some time with Billy and Lea (my brother & niece). We went to church this morning (Lily sang with the Sonshine Choir and was as cute a a button). Then Brad took the kids for a while and I took a nap (two in one weekend, can you believe it?!?). When I woke up, I took the kids to my Maw-Maw's for a few hours. The kids love visiting with my grandparents, and my grandparents absolutely love seeing the kids. So, overall, I feel like I spent my weekend doing things that were more important and more beneficial to me, personally. I did something for myself (I also had a massage on Friday) and I spent some quality time with my family & friends, both of which are way more important than having a house that sparkles or perfect lesson plans that no one will ever look at. So, tonight I am thankful for times when I am able to prioritize and focus on the things that are important. It definitely takes a conscious effort to do this, and it is especially hard for me sometimes because I am such a perfectionist, so I better be thankful for the times when I actually pull it off!

Friends...

Tonight I felt a lot more like myself. I cooked supper and I even made cookies with the babies. Did a few loads of laundry and offered to let Brad work late. He's really behind because of all the attention he has been giving me lately. I love and appreciate him so much.

Sam got his school pictures back today. They are precious. He has no front teeth and he is smiling the most genuine "Sam smile". They were really well-behaved tonight. They went outside and rode their bikes after supper and gave me a little time to get the kitchen clean from supper.

I think this medicine I am taking is helping. I think my neck is loosening up a little and my mind feels calmer. Still have a touch of that stomach bug, but I would much rather have that than the stress/anxiety/muscle/headache issues. Only side effect so far is yawning. I have yawned all day. Then again, maybe I'm just sleepy.

From time to time, when things get tough, it is so interesting sometimes who your friends turn out to be. I mean, it so often is those you least expect who step up to the plate and come to help you the most. And sometimes, when you thought you may have lost a friend, you really didn't...they were always there. Tonight I am thankful for true friends.

Effexor?

Anybody familiar with Effexor? That's what the doc started me on yesterday. Just wondered if anyone had had any experience with it.

Yet again...

Well, home from work again today. Stomach bug this time. I am sure looking forward to feeling better. Been working on updating some of the items on my blog while I've been home. Which brings me to what I am thankful for today...my computer. I have been SO patient since Brad and I moved into our house (4 years ago). We had nothing but dial-up and it was so painfully slow that it took me 30-45 minutes just to check my email. We FINALLY got DSL and that warranted us getting the new computer. I am getting myself back into the world of technology which I feel I was completely cut off from for those years. I know it is annoying Brad that I spend so much time on the computer these days, but I have a lot of catching up to do. And I use it for everything... writing lesson plans, creating tests and worksheets for my classes, email, besides all the stuff I just WANT to use it for. I can finally upload my pictures to websites and have them printed and sent to me. I can finally shop online. I have the capability to scrapbook digitally now, which will allow me to get rid of some of the crap that I have to haul from place to place everytime I crop. I am teaching myself about digital video and creating DVD's with my digital video camera. It is just amazing what all I can do...I just have to find the time (no problem, right?) and put the effort into learning all the stuff I missed out on during my hiatus from technology.

Wondering...

Do you ever stop and wonder how your life would be different if you had made different choices? I am not unhappy with my life as it is but I do think sometimes about how even the smallest choices sometimes make the biggest differences in life.

Trying to return to normal...

I feel like my life schedule has been disrupted lately because of my head hurting and my trip to the beach. My lesson plans are all screwed up and then we had a field trip today at school to see some plays at Lenoir Rhyne in Hickory. I am looking forward to getting things straightened out and back to normal. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, a massage lined up for Wednesday, and a trip to the chiropractor set for Thursday. Hopefully one of those three can get my hed/neck/back straightened out and then I can get past this annoying pain that has been setting me back.
Meanwhile, I know everyone who has been reading this is sick and tired of hearing me complain so I have decided to always try to include something positive... something that I am thankful for and something that I can say is truly a blessing to me. This weekend, I was blessed to spend time with great friends (Katie and Greg are such good people and they are very down to earth, which is good for me) and I spent some quality moments with my family. We played on the beach (yes, can you believe it was warm enough in October?) and we went to a Miniature Golf Course in North Myrtle that the kids absolutely loved because it was Pirate themed. Sam is SO into pirates. I got some great pictures that I will try to upload to winkflash soon. Incase you haven't joined winkflash.com, please do and visit my pictures...my user name is Hezuredawn.

Deceptively delicious...

Yeah, I know...I'm not going to shut up tonight, am I? I'm just in a talking mood. I ordered a book called Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfield (Jerry's wife). You may have heard of it. She has come up with creative ways to hide healthy foods in things like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and brownies...things kids will eat. I watched her on Oprah the other day when I was home sick and it seemed like a really interesting concept. And you know me, sitting here with nothing else to do... I jumped on Amazon.com and ordered that sucker. It hasn't arrived yet but I can't wait for it to get here so I can start tricking my kids into eating broccoli!

I also ordered the book by Dr. OZ called YOU, the owner's manual. I like Dr. Oz. He seems pretty cool and I need to understand how my body works so I can figure out how to make it skinny. I feel really old and I'm only 30 something and I need to get myself in shape before I am too far gone.

A happy note...

On a happier note, we are going to the beach this weekend with our friends Greg and Katie. I am taking off Friday (I had already planned this before I had to miss Monday and Tuesday) and we are leaving tomorrow night to go down to the beach for a long weekend. Sam and Lily are excited. They love Greg and Katie and I really think Katie and Greg love them too. It's going to be a nice, relaxing weekend with no stress. I have to come home tomorrow and get packed, but once that is done...low stress.
Aaaahhhh! Now...if I could just find myself a new lower stress job then life would be grand!

By the way, I just have to say how cute my little boy is with no teeth! He has lost both of his top front teeth and he is just adorable. One of the permanent teeth broke through the gums today and I am so sad about it! I wanted him to keep his sweet, snaggle-toothed smile for a while longer.

And Lily informed me the other day that she was "upset with me" because I wouldn't take her to Dairy Queen after her dance class. She did a great job at the fair "twirling" with her dancer friends. She's such a character.

And while I am bragging on my family, let me just say that Brad has been a fantastic husband while I have had all of my problems. He has been doing laundry like a madman and he has taken the kids to church and Lily to dance class. He even got someone else to cover for him at scouts Monday night so he could take Sam to PTO/Open House at his school. I am so thankful for him sometimes. I'm so lucky that he's not a lazy, lay-around-the-house-doing-nothing husband. He is always busy and my kids absolutely love being with him and helping him "work". Sam got some new work boots the other day and he has wanted to go "work" with his daddy every chance he's had since. And even Lily has started calling herself "daddy's girl". Sometimes it worries me that we don't have more interests in common, but I think we complement each other very well. Where I am lacking, he is strong, and vice versa. And it works. I guess God knew what he was doing with the two of us! Sometimes I think I really don't deserve him, but I am really glad I have him.

Back to the Grind...

Back to work today...head is feeling some better. Still not completely recovered but hopefully it won't be too much longer before everything gets back to normal. The medicine is definitely helping.
Carmen was curious about my ER experience. I must say I was very pleased overall. I got there around 10:15, waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes before they called me back. They put me in a gown, hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor, took down lots of info about my ailment, then they turned off the lights for me and said a doctor would be with me shortly. I waited about 20 more minutes before the doctor came in and diagnosed my problem. They took me down for a CAT scan which took about 15 minutes, they brought me some medicine and then they waited for the medicine to kick in to see if it was going to solve my problems before releasing me. I would guess we left the hospital about 12:30. Not bad considering all that I had done while I was there. Overall I was very pleased.

How wrong is that?

Ok, you know the headache that I've had? Well, I endured all weekend and took Monday off of work to go to the doctor to get something done about the pain. I called the Women's Clinic & they recommended that I go to a family practice since it was not necessarily a "woman" specific problem. So I called Shelby Family Practice. At 9am, they told me they could not see me until 3pm. I called Cleveland Family Practice. I had gone there once 6 years ago for, ironically, a headache. They have changed over to Caromont Health since I was there and all my records needed to be updated. They said after I had updated my records I could call back for an appointment. In other words, I could not be seen there that day either. I called Piedmont Family Care, thinking I would just try someone entirely new. I was told to stop by the office and pick up a new patient packet, fill it out, bring it back and that they would contact me within a few days to schedule my first appointment with them. In other words, we can't see you today either. I was so miserable and emotional (I'd been hurting since Thursday morning and the pain was only getting worse) so I just went to the Emergency Room. How wrong is it that someone in need of medical care...who is insured... cannot get into any of 4 different doctor's offices to be seen for a problem that needs immediate attention? When you're sick, you don't need an appointment three days from now! I am so mad about this. I really need to find a good family doctor, no matter how far I have to drive, and get in with that person when I am not sick, I suppose. The ER doctor gave me muscle relzxers and pain meds, diagnosed me with a strained neck muscle that had caused a severe tension headache. I still have the pain when my meds wear off but I am going to have to go back to work tomorrow si I won't be able to take all the pain medicine cause it makes me sleepy. Can't exactly teach Algebra in your sleep! So, does this doctor thing make anybody else as mad as it makes me? And why do they always ask...who is your doctor? Does anybody have A doctor anymore? I wish I did, but I don't so what do I do to find one?

Rock of Love

I just watched the last fifteen minutes of the reunion show of Bret Michael's Rock of Love and I just want to say for the record that I love Jes! She has balls! Bret pimped himself shamelessly during that whole show and he picked her and hurt all those other trashy girls with no self-respect. Then Jes... ha ha... tells him he picked the wrong girl... that she basically could give a rat's hind end about him!!! I think it's just hilarious! He thought so much of himself it was sickening and then... you go Jes!!! Stick it to him, girlfriend!

More whining..sorry

I still have the same headache from Thursday. Just the left side of my head hurts. I have been sitting in a chair most of the weekend with ice on my neck. It really sucks. I went ahead and planned to take the day off tomorrow so I can go to the doctor and hopefully get a shot or something to make this thing go away. It will fade about an hour and a half after I take tylenol, but it never goes away completely and the relief only lasts about an hour or two. I am bored and uncomfortable and there's nothing on tv even remotely interesting. My kids are spending the night with grandmomma tonight so I can get a little rest in the morning before I get my doctor's appointment. I just hope they can give me something....else this is gonna be a really long week.

TGIF!!

Thank God!! At last it is Friday and I can rest...a little bit. I still have that stinkin' headache and my house is still a wreck. Brad said something the other day about wanting to go to the Burns/Shelby game tonight but I would really rather not. Now...if he would want to take the kiddos that would be fine with me. Lily dances at the fair tomorrow at 11:30 and once I get some fried pickles and an RO's bbq sandwich I will have had my share of the fair this year. I have really been wanting to watch some good movies and my friend Roxanne told my that 300 was a good one. Maybe I will have time to watch it this weekend after the kids go to bed one night.

Mom wants to know...

Mom wants to know how I have time to write write blog posts. Well... I DON'T!!! I just don't have a lot of time to vent to anyone and I guess that's what I hope to get out of this. A place to talk to anyone who will listen about things that no one but me cares anything about. Gotta get it out somehow. Poor Brad tries... When you've been surrounded by nothing but 8th graders all day long, you gotta talk to someone. It will probably turn into a big sob-fest bitch session before it's all said and done, but hey, y'all don't have to read it on the days when I'm feeling sorry for myself, now do ya? :-)

Headache!

Today I have had a headache all day long. I felt it starting at the back of my neck this morning and it has gotten worse all day long. My house is a wreck because I wasn't here this past weekend to do any housework and then Mondays are no good because Brad has scouts and city council. Tuesdays are also out because by the time I take care of supper and get Sam's homework it is time to take Lily to her dance class. Wednesdays is church night - no work gets done. Then comes Thursdays...I'm worn out from working and running all week and this is the first night I really have to do anything around the house. Brad usually stays up later than me (he's a night owl) and he will do laundry, but as far as cleaning the floors and the bathrooms, etc. that all has to wait for me. Well, it probably won't happen tonight because my neck/head is calling for a long bath and an early trip to bed. Sometimes you just have to let it go... which is really hard for me... but sometimes I honestly have to make myself sit and just try to relax. Anybody else feel like life can just be too much sometimes? There's just no time to feel bad or be tired. You gotta keep on truckin'.

Turkey Pizzas

Well, today was a pretty good day at work which always makes the afternoons better when I get home. Lily has dance tonight and I always enjoy watching her. She cracks me up because she (and all the other little girls) get so caught up in watching themselves that they forget to listen to the instructor and follow what she's doing. Going to WalMart after to pick up a few groceries... yippee. I hate that place.
I am making these little turkey pizzas for supper. They are really good (one of my favorite things, actually). Really easy to make. Spread mayonnaise on a ready made pizza crust, add chopped turkey, diced tomatoes, bacon bits and mozzarella cheese and bake (350-375) until the cheese is melted. You won't believe what a good combination of tastes this is. The kids don't like it, but at this point, who cares? They don't eat anything except fries and chicken nuggets anyway. Try it sometime and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Heroes!

Peter Petrelli is so hot! And I am so happy that Hiro is really Kensai. And OMG, Claire cut off her toe! This show just gets better...

The Family Survived

I went on a scrapbooking retreat this weekend and it was great. I stayed up too late both nights and I paid for it by being super tired yesterday and today, but it was worth it. I definitely can tell that I am refreshed and I am a little bit more laid back about things after spending some quality time with friends. Brad did fine with the kids. They went to the fair Friday night and saw the Demolition Derby. They played outside all day Saturday down at the pond. They sure do have a good time when they go out with him.

Speaking of the fair, I would really like to have some fair food for supper tonight but Brad has City Council meeting and then Boy Scouts so he won't be home until late and I'm not sure I am brave enough to take them by myself.

Heroes comes on tonight (yay!). I wonder if we'll find out what happened to Peter. He is the greatest! So cute! Do you know that yesterday I found myself watching High School Musical and actually being somewhat interested in it? I am going to have to stop leaving the TV on cartoons all the time. It is getting sad. I need to watch some more grown up stuff. I never even know what is going on in the world because I never get to see the news. We don't take the paper either so I really don't have a clue!

Here goes...

I am so excited because tomorrow I am going to my annual scrapbooking weekend at Camp Crop. Of course, I have lots of scrapbooking to do and I am anxious to get caught up, but more than that I am ready to have some time away to think and to relax a bit. Every mother can relate here, I hope, because I love my children more than ANYTHING on this earth but I am needing a little time to myself. Scrapbooking is the perfect release for me too because I get that time away but I am doing something that directly relates to my children. I think about them constantly and scrapbooking their pictures makes me appreciate them even more.

Going home to pack my things and cook something for supper. Hmmm... what sounds good? Kids will want chicken nuggets and fries (of course) but I'd prefer something "real". I'd also prefer not to cook it, but oh well... that ain't happenin'! Brad has a meeting tonight so he'll be late getting home.

Uh-oh! It's 4:05 which means I need to get on home and pick up the kiddos from Grandmomma's. I got a lot of work done today so I'm going to focus on having a good time and getting some rest this weekend!