Mood swings and Mario...

Ahhh, I am letting the old blog slide a bit lately. Sorry to those of you with whom this is one of my only means of communication... It seems like there has been a lot of stuff busy-ing up my schedule lately and Brad has been gone a whole lot more than usual which puts me on my own with the kiddos which means I have less time to write. Brad is totally addicted to Super Mario 3 on the Wii and I am starting to regret we ever bought it. We rented some new games from Family Video but he refuses to even try them because he is so intent on playing his oldie but goodie. I hear Mario music in my head when I try to fall asleep at night. I hate it.

We talked a bit last week about starting ourselves on a budget to try to get some stuff paid off and one of the major things that we spend our money on is eating out. So, we decided to really try to eat at home and try to allow ourselves one night eating out per week. We eat at church on Wednesday nights and usually we get something from somewhere on Fridays when Katie and Greg come over. Or sometimes we cook, it just depends. Anyway, I am really proud of myself this week because I have been cooking supper each night. I cleaned out the refrigerator, freezer and the pantry this weekend. Cleaned up, threw out old stuff, organized the cabinets, and just got a feel for what we had that needed to be eaten. I made a menu for the week and I made my grocery list and it has gone really well so far. It makes me feel so good when I am productive and all Martha Stewart-ish.

I have got to find a doctor to help me with my premenstrual mood swings, folks. It happens almost exactly one week before my period starts and I morph into MOMMY FROM HELL. My kids at school even notice and ask me what is wrong and why I'm in such a bad mood. Forget the way I treat my own family...it's just really bad. And I feel as though I have no control over it. I remember I took St. John's Wort for a while before I had any children and it worked pretty well, so I bought some of it this weekend and I've been taking it twice a day to see if it helps. So far I think it is taking the edge off of my bitchiness, but it is still there, without a doubt. It is more like I am sullen now... not mean, just sort of poopy and mopey. And when my period starts, it will go away and I will be fine for three weeks. I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking my marriage can't take this twelve times per year. Not even sure I can take this twelve times per year myself. Anybody have this problem besides me and have some suggestions? I tried that doctor in Forest City but she really disappointed me. My hormones seemed ok, according to her. A little high on the testosterone end, low on the estrogen end, but within normal limits. I also have to tell myself that I get this way near the end of the school year each year too. I get so burnt out and I need summer.

Speaking of summer, I have definitely decided that it is just not worth the loss of sanity it would require for me to teach summer school. Not gonna do it. We have discussed using our economic stimulus checks to pay for our Disney Vacation. Now I just have to plan it. Kendra... hope you have fun! Be sure to fill me in on what to do and what not to do when you get back! I have also told Brad that I want to plan a couple of beach trips this summer, with or without him so that the kids and I can get away from the house some. I really don't need a fancy place to stay, just need me some ocean air... cleanses my soul, you know. Of course I can't imagine what it would be like to go without the kids and sleep on the beach like I used to in the good old days... I would probably just miss them and feel guilty about being there without them the whole time if I actually got the chance to do that.

Well, the eyeballs are feeling a bit like sandpaper and they keep closing spontaneously so I guess that's the bed calling. I have a mother's day program in the morning at Lily's preschool at 9am so I at least get to sleep in a little bit. Talk again soon I hope...