Ahhh, tantrums....

OK, I need some serious help here. I am going to go crazy if Lily doesn't hurry up and move out! I know, I will regret saying that one day. I will long for the days when she was little and yahdy, yahdy, yah.... We fight DAILY about her clothes. Tonight she cried so hard she threw up while standing in the middle of the kitchen because I would not let her change into PJ's with princesses or animals on the front. What's the harm in her wearing animals or princesses, you ask? Well, no harm at all if she would put them on and leave them, but she wear them for an hour or so and then she wants to change. The laundry this little person creates is absolutely ridiculous. I have decided to put my foot down. Since she would not put on the PJ's that were laid out for her, so I told her she had to wear a plain t-shirt to sleep in tonight. You would have thought I had pulled her fingernails out and poured rubbing alcohol on her hands! I lugged her up to her bed and put her under the covers where she continued to try to convince me that she needed some other jammy's. She just would not be able to sleep in that plain t-shirt. It was a boy t-shirt, not a girl one. UGH!!!! On and on and on. We fight about the length of the sleeves, whether to wear hose or socks, the list is endless. We went out to eat the other night with Becky and Daniel and she wore a little cotton skirt and t-shirt with her frilly Easter socks and dress shoes. She wore FOUR headbands with a hair clip on top of one of the headbands. Refused a jacket ("I don't get cold.", she says.) and I was just to the point that if she had wanted to go naked I would've let her. I just hate the fighting. She cries about her hair.... wants it braided or in piggy tails. If she isn't satisfied she will tell you how stupid it looks and commence to crying until her hair is suitably styled. I know I probably need to just stand my ground and be tough but good gosh I get SO tired of fighting everyday over the same stupid trivial junk. And poor Sam, he has to literally scream to get any attention because she refuses to let anyones else share in her ownership of the freakin' WORLD!!! What am I gonna do with this one when she's a teenager? I mean really... she's three and I already can't handle her. I know I have had a hand in spoiling her, but I haven't done it alone and I don't know how to "fix" it. Suggestions....please? (Hear the desperation in my voice?)